Don't Make Your Parents Angry or Weep Because of You

Be extremely careful not to do anything to cause your parents to be angry towards you or make them weep because of you.

Narrated Anas ibn Malik, that Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, says, "Whoever has pleased his parents, he has pleased Allah and whoever has angered his parents, he has angered Allah."

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, says, "Allah will not accept the prayers of the person whose parents are angry with him and their parents are not oppressors."

Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Three supplications are answered without a doubt: the supplication of someone who is oppressed, the supplication of someone on a journey, and the supplication of parents for their children."

[Bukhari]

Abu Hurayra reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and grant him peace, says, "No human child has ever spoken in the cradle except for 'Isa ibn Maryam, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and the companion of Jurayj." Abu Hurayra asked, "Prophet of Allah, who was the companion of Jurayj?" The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) replied, "Jurayj was a monk who lived in a hermitage. There was a cowherd who used to come to the foot of his hermitage and a woman from the village used to come to the cowherd."

"One day his mother came while he was praying and called out, 'Jurayj!' He asked himself, 'My mother or my prayer?' He concluded that he should prefer the prayer. She shouted to him a second time and he again asked himself, 'My mother or my prayer?' He thought that he should prefer the prayer. She shouted a third time and yet again he asked himself, 'My mother or my prayer?' He again concluded that he should prefer the prayer. When he did not answer her, she said, 'Jurayj, may Allah not let you die until you have looked at the faces of the beautiful women.' Then she left.

"Then the village woman was brought before the king after she had given birth to a child. He asked, 'Whose is it?' 'Jurayj's,' she replied. He asked, 'The man in the hermitage?' 'Yes,' she answered. He ordered, 'Destroy his hermitage and bring him to me.' They hacked at his hermitage with axes until it collapsed. They bound his hand to his neck with a rope and took him along to the king. When he passed by the beautiful women, he saw them and smiled. They were looking at him along with the people.

"The king asked, 'Do you know what this woman claims?' 'What does she claim?' he asked. He replied, 'She claims that you are the father of her child.' He asked her, 'Where is the child?' They replied, 'It is in her room.' He went to the child and said, 'Who is your father?' 'The cowherd,' he replied. The king said, 'Shall we build your hermitage out of gold?' 'No,' he replied. He asked, 'Of silver?' 'No,' he replied. The king asked, 'What shall we build it with?' He said, 'Put it back the way you found it.' Then the king asked, 'What made you smile.' 'Something I recognized,' he replied, 'The supplication of my mother overtook me.' Then he told him about it.

[Bukhari]

What if you go against your parents?

"The punishment of every sin will be held back till the Day of Judgment with exception of the sin of going against one’s parents, in which case, punishment will take place during his lifetime before his death." [Tabarani].

It has been narrated that Alqamah was a good companion of the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace). He was very diligent when it came to praying, fasting and giving charity. However, upon getting married, his love for his wife was greater than for his mother. As a result, when he was dying, he was not able to recite the Kalimah "la ilaha illallah." The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) asked the mother to forgive her son, however, she refused to do so. Eventually, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) told Bilal to gather some firewood; and told the latter to burn Alqamah. Upon seeing this, the feelings of love for her son prevailed; forgave her son, after which, Alqamah was able to recite the Kalimah "La ilaha illallah" as he breathed his last.

Because of severity of disrespecting parents and going against your parents, it is quick to be punished and that punishment will come in this life, and one can expect punishment in the next life. Even Jurayj, one of the best worshipers of Allah, was not spared of the punishment in this life for causing his mother to be angry at him and he wasn't even doing something haram. Even a good companion of the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) could not say "la ilaha illallah" before he died until his mother forgave him.

This is also a reminder of the power of du'a of parents. For parents, it is important for us to make regular and constant du'a for our children for their benefit in this life and the next life, and for children to ask their parents to make du'a for them. The du'a of parents will not be veiled from Allah Almighty.

Answer the calls of your parents--even if you are praying and cannot talk to them, there are ways you can indicate to them that you are praying. If your parents call you many times on the phone or send you repeated emails or text messages, but you did not respond, that could cause them distress and you should not let that happen. Obey your parents everything they ask you to do as long as no harm and there is nothing haram. Ask your parents gently if you need something. Always thank them if they give it to you, and excuse them if they do not, and never insist on a matter if they refuse you.

May Allah protect us from the trial and tribulations of this life and the next, and save us and our families from Hellfire. Ameen.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam

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