Weeping at Graves and the Suffering of Rasul (صلى الله عليه وسلم)

Assalamu alaikum, below are all my notes from Lesson 171 of the Commentary of al Tajrid al Sarih (The Abridged Saheeh al-Bukhari) by Shaykh Abu Yusuf Riyadh ul Haq. This lesson was delivered on Friday 2nd November 2007. Hadeeth 652-655 were covered from the Book of Funerals. The full lesson is available on the podcast (http://alkawthar.podbean.com/2007/11/05/lesson-171-hadeeth-652-655/) and also in MP3 format from the Al Kawthar webshop (https://www.alkawtharacademy.org/store/dl_viewProduct.php?product=AKATT-MP3-171)

Jazakumullahu khairan.

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باب: قَولُ النّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وسلم: يُعَذّبَ المَيّتُ بِبَعضِ بُكاءِ أَهلِهِ عَلَيهِ إِذَا كَانَ النّوْحُ مِن سُنّتِه

Chapter 16 - If a person tells his or her family member to wail when he or she passes away, then the person will be sinful.

In this chapter heading, Imam Bukhari (رحمة الله عليه) is referring to those that are sinful because they know that wailing is a custom or a tradition in their family but in their lifetime they do not try and prevent this by instructing their family not to wail.

652. عَنْ أَسَامَة بْن زَيْدٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُمَا قَالَ: أَرْسَلَت ابْنَةُ النّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِلَيْه: إِنّ ابْنًا لِي قُبِضَ فَائْتِنَا, فَأَرْسَلَ يُقْرِىءُ السّلاَمَ, وَيَقُولُ: (إِنّ للهِ ما أَخَذَ وَلَهُ ما أَعْطَى, وَكُلُ شي عِنْدَهُ بِأَجَلٍ مُسَمّى, فَلْتَصْبِرْ وَلْتَحْتَسِبْ). فَأَرْسَلَتْ إِلَيْهِ تُقْسِمُ عَلَيْهِ لَيَأْتِيَنّهَا, فَقَامَ وَمَعَهُ: سَعْدُ بْنُ عُبَادَةَ, وَمَعَاذُ بْنُ جَبَلٍ, وَأُبَيّ بْنُ كَعْبٍ, وَزَيْدُ بْنُ ثَابِتٍ, وَرِجَالٌ, فَرُفِعَ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم الصّبِيّ وَنَفْسُهُ تَتَقَعْقَعُ, قَالَ: حَسِبْتُهُ أَنّهُ قَالَ: كَأَنّهَا شَنّ, فَفَاضَتْ عَيْنَاهُ, فَقَالَ سَعْدٌ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ, ما هذَا فَقَالَ: (هذِهِ رَحْمَةٌ جَعَلَهَا اللهُ في قُلُوبِ عِبَادِهِ, وَإِنّمَا يَرْحَمُ اللهُ مِن عِبَادِهِ الرّحَمَاءَ). رواه البخاري: 1284

652. Narrated Usâma bin Zaid رضى الله عنهما : The daughter of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم sent (a messenger) to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم requesting him to come as her child was dying (or was gasping), but the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم returned the messenger and told him to convey his greeting to her and say: Whatever Allâh takes is for Him and whatever He gives, is for Him, and everything with Him has a limited fixed term (in this world) and so she should be patient and hope for Allâh's Reward. She again sent for him, swearing that he should come. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم got up, and so did Sâ'd bin 'Ubâda, Mu'âdh bin Jabal, UbaI bin Ka'b, Zaid bin Thâbit and some other men. The child was brought to Allâh's Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم while his breath was disturbed in his chest (the subnarrator thinks that Usama added:) as if it was a leather waterskin. On that the eyes of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم started shedding tears. Sâ'd said, O Allâh's Messenger what is this? He replied, It is mercy which Allâh has lodged in the heart of His slaves, and Allâh is Merciful only to those of His slaves who are merciful (to others). (2:373O.B.)

The daughter of Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) referred to in this hadeeth is Zainab (رضى الله عنها), the elder daughter of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Her daughter, Umama was on the verge of death. She sent a message to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). He didn’t go on the first call. This may be because he felt that nothing could be done now for the child so it is best to leave it in the hands of Allah. He (صلى الله عليه وسلم) sent a message to her saying ‘Whatever Allah takes is for Him and whatever He gives, is for Him, and everything with Him is for an appointed time (in this world) and so she should be patient and hope for Allah's Reward’. She then sent a second message pleading with him to come. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was with a large group of sahabah. They rose with him – some are mentioned by name in the hadeeth i.e. Sâ'd bin 'Ubâda, Mu'âdh bin Jabal, UbaI bin Ka'b, Zaid bin Thâbit (رضى الله عنهم). The extremely ill child was given to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). It is narrated that the child was shivering, her breath was rasping and she was so weak that she appeared like a ‘leather water bag’. When the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) held his grandchild in such a condition in his arms, his eyes were filled with tears. Sâ'd bin 'Ubâda (رضى الله عنه) said ‘Oh Prophet of Allah, what is this?’ In another narration of the same hadeeth, there is the additional wording that he said ‘You prevent us from weeping but you weep yourself?’ Sâ'd bin 'Ubâda (رضى الله عنه) wasn’t saying this to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) in an objectionable manner but wanted to reconcile this with other commands of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) replied ‘It is mercy which Allah has lodged in the heart of His slaves, and Allâh is Merciful only to those of His slaves who are merciful (to others)’.

The child didn’t actually die. Ali (رضى الله عنه) married Umama (رضى الله عنها) after the death of Fatima (رضى الله عنها) and she was still in Ali’s (رضى الله عنه) nikah when he was martyred.

The Shaykh mentioned that there are conflicting narrations about whether the child was a girl of a boy. This particular hadeeth has the Arabic wording ‘son’ but it was actually the daughter of Zainab (رضى الله عنها), Umama (رضى الله عنها).

653. عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مالِكٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: شَهِدْنَا بِنْتًا لِرَسُولِ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم, قَالَ: وَرَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم جالِسٌ عَلَى الْقَبْرِ, قَالَ: فَرَأَيْتُ عَيْنَيْهِ تَدْمَعَانِ, قَالَ: فَقَالَ: (هَلْ فِيكُمْ رَجُلٌ لَمْ يُقَارِفِ اللّيْلَةَ). فَقَالَ أَبُو طَلْحَةَ: أَنَا, قَالَ: (فَانْزِلْ). قَالَ: فَنَزَلَ في قَبْرِهَا. رواه البخاري: 1285

653. Narrated Anas bin Mâlik رضى الله عنه : We were (in the funeral procession) of one of the daughters of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and he was sitting by the side of the grave. I saw his eyes shedding tears. He said, Is there anyone among you who did not have sexual relation with his wife last night? Abu Talha replied in the affirmative. And so the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم told him to get down in the grave. And so he got down in her grave. (2:374O.B.)

In this hadeeth (653), Umm Kulthum (رضى الله عنها) who was the wife of Uthman (رضى الله عنه) is mentioned. Uthman (رضى الله عنه) was first married to Ruqayyah (رضى الله عنها), who was also a daughter of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). There is a narration that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said that ‘If I had another daughter I would have married her to Uthman too’.

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) needed help in the grave to bury his daughter. He enquired whether there was anyone who had not cohabited with his wife that night. Abu Talha (رضى الله عنه) said that he had not so the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) asked him to descend into the grave. The reason for asking this was because the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) wanted someone to assist who had spent the night in the purest of ways. The hadeeth is related to the chapter heading because the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is reported in this hadeeth to be sitting at the edge of the grave weeping.

654. عَنْ عُمَرَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: قال رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: (إِنّ المَيّتَ يُعَذّبُ بِبَعْضِ بُكَاءِ أَهْلِهِ عَلَيْهِ).

فبلغ ذلك عائشة رضي الله عنها بعد موت عمر رضي الله عنه, فَقَالَتْ: رَحِمَ اللهُ عُمَرَ, وَاللهِ ما حَدّثَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِنّ اللهَ لَيُعَذّبُ المُؤْمِنَ ببعض بكاء أَهْلِهِ عَلَيْهِ, وَلكِنْ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ: (إِنّ اللهَ لَيَزِيدُ الْكافِرَ عَذَابًا بِبُكَاءِ أَهْلِهِ عَلَيْهِ). وَقَالَتْ: حَسْبُكُمُ الْقُرْاَنُ: (وَلاَ تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ وِزْرَ أُخْرَى). رواه البخاري: 1288

654. Narrated 'Umar رضى الله عنه : Allâh's Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said, The dead person is tortured by the crying of his relatives. After the death of 'Umar رضى الله عنه A'isha رضى الله عنها said, May Allâh be Merciful to 'Umar. By Allâh, Allâh's Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم did not say that a believer is punished by the weeping (crying aloud) of his relatives. But he said, 'Allâh increases the punishment of a disbeliever because of the weeping (crying aloud) of his relatives.' (A’isha) further added, The Qur'ân is sufficient for you (to clear up this point) as Allâh has stated: 'No bearer of burdens shall bear the burden of another.' (V.35:18) (V.6:164). (2:375O.B.)

Umar (رضى الله عنه) would narrate that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said ‘The dead person is punished due to his relatives weeping over him’. But after the death of Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) when Aisha (رضى الله عنها) heard this she said that Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) did not say this. Umar’s (رضى الله عنه) son, Abdullah ibn Umar (رضى الله عنه) would also narrate this and Aisha (رضى الله عنها) also corrected him about this. However, the ulema have stated that Aisha (رضى الله عنها) was incorrect in her assumption; hence this same statement is narrated by many sahabah. She had not heard Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) say this so she assumed that he had never said this. She clarified her viewpoint by adding some extra things that Rasululah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) had said. The ulema have said that Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) has said both statements i.e. that which Umar (رضى الله عنه) would narrate and also that which Aisha (رضى الله عنها) said i.e. 'that Allah increases the punishment of a disbeliever because of the weeping of his relatives (this is explained further below with notes for Hadeeth 655).

The words of Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) cannot be taken literally as this would contradict the Qur’an: 'No bearer of burdens shall bear the burden of another.' (V.35:18). This is why Aisha (رضى الله عنها) made her statement. Thus, in this chapter heading Imam Bukhari (رحمة الله عليه) is bringing home the point that the hadeeth cannot be taken literally – there must be a qualifying explanation.

655. عنْ عائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ: مَرّ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم عَلَى يَهُودِيّةٍ يَبْكِي عَلَيْهَا أَهْلُهَا, فَقَالَ (إِنّهُمْ لَيَبْكُونَ عَلَيْهَا, وَإِنّهَا لَتُعَذّبُ في قَبْرِهَا). رواه البخاري: 1289

655. Narrated A'isha رضى الله عنها : Once Allâh's Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم passed by (the grave of) a Jewess whose relatives were weeping over her. He said, They are weeping (crying aloud) over her and she is being tortured in her grave. (2:376O.B.)

Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) passed by a grave of a Jewess whose relatives were weeping over her. Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said that ‘they are weeping over her and she is being punished in the grave’. Shaykh Abu Yusuf Riyadh ul Haq said that either Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said this in general as she died without faith, or he had specific knowledge that the woman was being punished.

Why is this hadeeth related to the chapter heading? Again, Imam Bukhari (رحمة الله عليه) is pressing home the point that the words of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) that the deceased are punished due to their relatives weeping over them cannot be taken literally (Hadeeth 652-655). All the hadeeth in this chapter have been used by Imam Bukhari to prove this point including the ahadeeth where the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) himself was crying.

This hadeeth is linked to the previous hadeeth, and in summary, the whole scenario is that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) did say what was mentioned in Hadeeth 654 and he also said these words in Hadeeth 655 i.e.

1. Allah increases the punishment of a disbeliever because of the weeping of his relatives.

2. They are weeping over her and she is being punished in the grave.

Aisha (رضى الله عنها) was aware of both of these statements. But she was not aware of the other words (the third statement for the purposes of these notes) which the other sahabah such as Umar (رضى الله عنه) reported i.e. the dead person is punished due to his relatives weeping over him. Hence, she made the statement mentioned in Hadeeth 654, (that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) did not say those words in the third statement above) because it appeared to contradict the Qur’an. The ulema say that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) did say these words although they cannot be taken literally and weeping mentioned in these ahadeeth (which talk about punishment) actually mean wailing’ i.e. wailing from the days of ignorance as was discussed in previous lessons e.g. slapping one’s cheeks, screaming, pulling hair, throwing dust on oneself etc.

The Shaykh mentioned at the end of this dars that the Book of Funerals (كتابُ الجَنائز) should remind us of death, prepare us for the hereafter and also remind us of the suffering and bereavement that Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) went through. He suffered bereavements of his parents, uncles (Abu Talib and Hamza (رضى الله عنه)), all his children except Fatima (رضى الله عنها), two of his wives, martyrdom of his adoped son and also his cousin Jafar ibn Abu Talib (رضى الله عنه). Thus, Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) went through so much loss, sorrow and bereavement – this is the reality of life.