Everyday is Mother's Day

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Many parts of the world are celebrating Mother’s Day today or tomorrow, focusing on mothers and their contributions to their families and societies.

Mothers specifically and parents in general are held in very high esteem in Islam. There are verses in the Qur’an and hadith that emphasize the burdens that a mother carries and the respect that should be accorded to her.

Our indebtedness to our mothers is so immense that it is not possible to repay it.

The verses of the Qur’an that address the mother emphasize the difficulties of pregnancy, giving birth, and breastfeeding and the need to respect one’s mother. These verses many times mention parents in general but go into detail in regard to the mother because she faces challenges that a father does not. Verse 15 from chapter 46 (Al-Ahqaf) illustrates this point.

وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَ‌ٰلِدَيْهِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ كُرْ‌هًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْ‌هًا ۖ وَحَمْلُهُۥ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ ثَلَـٰثُونَ شَهْرً‌ا ۚ حَتَّىٰٓ إِذَا بَلَغَ أَشُدَّهُۥ وَبَلَغَ أَرْ‌بَعِينَ سَنَةً قَالَ رَ‌بِّ أَوْزِعْنِىٓ أَنْ أَشْكُرَ‌ نِعْمَتَكَ ٱلَّتِىٓ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَىَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَ‌ٰلِدَىَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَـٰلِحًا تَرْ‌ضَىٰهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِى فِى ذُرِّ‌يَّتِىٓ ۖ إِنِّى تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّى مِنَ ٱلْمُسْلِمِينَ ﴿١٥

And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, excellent treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims."

[Qur'an, Al-Ahqaf 46:15]

This verse begins with a command for both parents, but goes into detail in regards to the mother and the difficulties she endures. The command to treat parents with kindness means to treat them with respect under all circumstances, to obey them unless it goes against an edict of the faith, and to care for them in old age as they cared for you as a child.

How a Muslim should treat their parents, especially the mother, is further underscored in the hadith. There are many instances that the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) commanded believers to respect and obey their mothers. Here are a few examples:

The Prophet designated mothers as the ones most worthy of excellent companionship. Indeed, in this he gave them precedent over fathers.

A man came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah! Who among the people is the most worthy of my excellent companionship? The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim)

A man once consulted the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) about taking part in a military campaign. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) asked the man if his mother was still living. When told that she was alive, the Prophet said: “(Then) stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet.” (Al-Tirmidhi)

On another occasion, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “Allah has forbidden for you to be undutiful to your mothers.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

In the first hadith, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) highlights the importance of the mother over the father by repeating “your mother” three times and then saying “your father” once in response to the man’s question. The second hadith illustrates the significance of the mother by placing caring for her over going to war to defend Islam. In other words, caring for his mother is also a way for a man to serve Allah. By saying that entrance into paradise is linked to caring for and respecting a mother, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) accords them a great honor. In the last hadith, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) asserts that disobedience of mothers is a sin.

‘Ali ibn al-Husain is reported to have said: “The right of your mother on you is that you should know that nobody could endure the trouble and the conditions under which she protected you and nourished you with the juice of her life, and tried with her heart and soul to satisfy all your needs in relation to hunger, thirst, dress, etc. She passed sleepless nights, suffering anxieties and worries. She provided you with shelter against heat and cold, and protected you from ailments. It is not possible for you to compensate her, or thank her enough for all the services, except that Allah may give you guidance for that. The right of your father on you is that you should know that it is he who brought you into existence, and you are a branch of the tree of his life.”

Ibn Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with both father and son) said: "The obedience of the parents increases by being kind and gentle to them. One should reply gently to everything that they tell him. One should not look at them in their eyes. One should not shout at them. Rather, when with one's parents one should be like the slave before his master".

Al-Bukhari (may Allah have mercy upon him) narrated in his book "Al-Adab Al-Mufrad" that Ibn Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him and his father) said: "I do not know any good act that brings the person closer to Allah The Almighty than the obedience of one's mother".

All the verses and hadith on mothers demonstrate the importance of this figure in Islam. They also show that the mother is accorded a higher honor than even the father because of all the responsibilities she has towards her child. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) never saw his father because he died before his birth and he lost his mother when he was six years old. Yet many hadith show that he understood the importance of one’s parents, especially the mother. Many Muslims will say that Islam emphasizes the importance of the mother so much that Mother’s Day is not one day a year but should be everyday.

The obedience of parents is not restricted to their lifetime, it is also done after their death. Abu Dawood (may Allah have mercy upon him) reported that a man once came to the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam and said: "Is there any form of obedience that I could do to my parents after their death?" The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam said: "Yes. Ask blessings for them. Ask Allah to forgive them. Carry out their will. Treat kindly anybody with whom they have blood relationships and treat their friends kindly."

Indeed, this is the recognition that parents deserve, and the mother in particular. Islam gave the mother complete and comprehensive rights all the time. So, anyone who does not give due respect to his mother all the time, can not make it up to her just by celebrating this day.

Celebrating a designated Day does not give the mother the smallest fraction of what Allah has conferred her. Allah has ordained on us to obey our mothers and do all the good to them as long as they are alive and after they die.

رَّ‌بِّ ٱرْ‌حَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَ‌بَّيَانِى صَغِيرً‌ۭا

My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.

May Allah enable us to be grateful to Him and dutiful to our parents. May Allah make our children the joy of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam and the comfort of our eyes. Ameen.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Wassalaam

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